We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
