Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
