Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
