I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize