I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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