Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
