Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
