i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
