I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
