HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
