If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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