Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
