I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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