Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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