Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
