they need to just BURY HIM!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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