Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
