I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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