What did we do last night that was yellow?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize