Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize