I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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