Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
