I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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