never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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