another moral hangover. fuck.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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