your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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