it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
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They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
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Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize