And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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