Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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