Little spoons don't ask big questions
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
