I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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