I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
