i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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