Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
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