Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
