my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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