i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Randomize
