I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
