Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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