I love black thongs
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
