try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
