standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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