you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
