that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
