So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
