i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
