Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize