Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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