Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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