Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
