I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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