If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
