I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
