All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
