Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
