im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
