Christians are straight up FREAKS
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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