Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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