never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
