And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
