I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
