Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
