O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
