just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
