new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
