So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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