Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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