i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
whose parrot is this?
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
