They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
My breasts were aching with rage.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
