So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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